iRant: Manufactured sympathy

I've taken a good while out to think about this. It hasn't been easy/straight forward or any other adjective you can think of. After great deliberation, meditation and pondering, I've come to the conclusion that I HATE the term "I'm sorry for your loss". I know this sounds like a callous notion on the surface and to a degree it is, but I have really thought about this and this is the conclusion I've come to.

Understanding the callous guy
I do not believe for a moment that the first person who ever said "I'm sorry for your loss", did so without real heartfelt sincerity. It's not beyond my mental abilities to imagine that the submission "I'm sorry for your loss" probably came from a moment of shock and uncertainty and truly reflected the emotions of a person in words. I imagine the person who first said "I'm sorry for your loss", did so after careful consideration, maybe even an internal assessment taking time out to properly get in touch with their own feelings, whilst maybe even giving a serious thought to how the person delivering the news felt. I'd hasten a guess that the first person to use the term "I'm sorry for your loss" actually empathised with the person they said it to.

Fast forward 100yrs and it seems we've made fast food of the term.

Fast food language
And that is the problem I have with this term, much like "Sorry", "I'm sorry for your loss" has become a throwaway term. People commit to the turn of phrase with little or no thought, then just casually segue onto the next subject of conversation.
It seems that in todays high paced superficial lifestyles, we've lost time for heartfelt sincerity, we've lost the capacity for empathy whilst forgetting almost entirely how to express it.

It's become apparent to me that automation is very much an integral part of the progression of many aspects of modern life. It's part of the reason people dress the same, or have exactly the same favourite devices, hobbies etc... we've been sold automation whole sale. I mean, most people hate rats...but have little or no aversion to squirrels....yet they are the same rodent family capable of the same level of filth.

Murder is wrong, unless you are soldier, then it becomes necessary...its fair to say that we've pretty much been programmed in relation to these things.

The thing that is so sad about this all for me, is that, somebody dying can be a traumatic experience. Telling somebody that a person has died is difficult within itself, so I find it incredibly disheartening that we are happy to just blurt out "I'm sorry for your loss" when a person tells us their unfortunate news.
We don't even take time out to process the information we've received. I don't think its possible that almost every human being since that person first said it, feels EXACTLY the same way as that person did. I don't think for a minute that, given they felt the same way as that person, they independently thought of what to say and came up with "I'm sorry for your loss". Instead I think its more likely that the pre-fabricated response absolved them of the commitment required to generate an empathetic response.

I'd probably go as far as to say, the automated response is an easy escape that circumnavigates the need to tap into your own emotions. To be honest, I find this term as comforting as "fuck off I have my own problems don't try to burden me with yours", in essence its virtually the same thing...well in my mind at least.

A word to whomever will listen
The next time somebody tells you about a loss of life, try to hold back your seemingly natural response ("I'm sorry for your loss") and take a moment out to think about the impact of what you have just been told, spare a thought for how the person telling you the news may feel. Remember the person who has passed (if you know them), after you've done this, then decide on a response you consider fitting....I bet you come out with "My condolences", if you do, you're NOT Neo, you're still plugged into the Matrix.